always should be doing something else

Well right now I'm supposed to be packing for China Week, but I'm here doing this. I also should have done my homework, but I think I forgot to take it home with me yesterday, oh well. I've just been thinking about things that really don't help me feel any better, like I always do. Just sometimes I feel like I'll be alone forever, you know it's been sixteen years and nothing has happened to me love wise. (actually nothing.) Right now it's not really a problem, because I don't like anyone, but I just think nothing's going to happen forever. All these 11 and 12 year olds getting into relationships just makes me feel like I'm missing out on being a teenager, or something along that line. Maybe it's because I'm physically unattractive and legitimately the hardest person to hold a conversation with.

I'm half looking forward to china week, half not.Well its probably going to be fun cause we're going sea kayaking and possibly surfing (I only managed to stand on the board once last year for half a second, well maybe I'll do better this time) and the class my class is grouped with is ok I guess. Well I don't know, I never get excited for school trips nowadays, cause it's not like I'm staying with someone I completely love. I used to be, like if I was going on a trip with the Yuzhen and heather and all the other netballers and basketballers I would be so fucking excited, but right now that's not the case. Part of the reason why I'm not that excited is probably because I have a ton of overdue homework and more homework on top of that to complete and I just want to burn everything and fade away, it could also be because I look fat and disgusting in a swim suit. well. I should get back to packing now.