fizzle and burn

Well at least I did my homework before doing this.

I don't really think half the things I do through, e.g. I spent half an hour setting things on fire in the bathroom and putting them in a wet mug to fizzle out. Now my hair smells like smoke and so does the bathroom. Today went pretty slowly though.

I was thinking about the times where the world just goes too fast for you. Like you're barely moving and everyone's moving on. People talk but you can't understand, you try but everything is muffled and you don't catch words, just sounds. Everything is just lights and sounds. You just want everything to slow down, to stop completely even, just so you can get back in. So you can spin the same speed. Then there comes those times everything is moving painfully slowly, not because their boring or embarrassing. Just because. It feels like you're lunging forward, but nothing's moving with you and you're trapped. The nervousness builds and the anxiety follows but you can't explain why, and you're heart beats faster while everyone else's doesn't. Your head races too, and sometimes there's even a buzzing in your ear,you try to slow down and catch words, movements, anything, but you always miss, because you're reaching too early. It's either one or the other most of the time for me. All I am is this lone being, detached from a universe where everything is connected. It's hard to illustrate these feelings, this feeling of isolation even, with full knowledge that there are people that feel the same or at least similar.

The world is spinning too slow now, and I am lunging forward at nothing.