Thursday 1 November 2012

Career prospects (or the absence of them)

Today there was the IB options talk for all year 11 students, to understand what the fuck we were getting ourselves into in 2013. After all that I still don't know what I'm going to do, because I don't know what I'm going to get into as a career or what I'm going to take in university, or where I am going to go in university.
In case you didn't know IB has 6 Categories and we are supposed to pick one out of each category or not pick and arts and pick another science or humanities. I find that ridiculously difficult to just pick 6, because it would be so much easier we it was 7 but not as in depth and difficult. I'm going to HAVE to do HIGHER LEVEL MATH, which might completely mind-rape me on a regular basis, I might take higher economics (or standard level, have to research that) too. I don't know which higher level science I'm going to do, because I have absolutely no idea what fields of work I'm going to get into.
So those are going to be my 3 higher levels.

The only subject I'm really keen on taking is IB Film, because you have no idea how interested I am in films and film history and everything about movies. However, my mom doesn't seem to get it, she thinks I'm just wasting my time and should take double higher science along with higher math to "widen up my options" to be honest the only field of work I have developed a genuine interest and passion for is film (directing, screen writing, all aspects). I finally kind of worked up to courage to work that into the conversation during dinner, but mom just put me down and made it seem like I was being a "dreamer" and we have enough of that in the family cause my brother is going into sound engineering (or something like that) after NS. They kind of hope for me to be the "successful one" to support them. It's fucking hard ok, it's fucking hard to have your parents just want to go for safe options so you can get the typical job and just work through it and support them. It's fucking hard for them just to overlook your older brother and let him do whatever, and have them just tie you down as a safety. (I actually really want to talk to my brother now...we never talk) Remember when people used to say just do what your interested in, now I CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT.
Mom thinks I MUST take 2 sciences and maybe fall back on film if I fail, but IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY MOM. How can I fall back on film if I don't take the subject in the first place.

It would be easier if we didn't have to take a second language, cause I would just take a second science and do film but... it is. I'm probably going to do french ab initio because I am actually interested in the language and cannot handle doing mandarin as a first language anymore.

All I am is extremely discouraged and quite suicidal so I didn't take a bath today, I took a shower instead, even though I really needed a warm bath.
please help. I need career advice or something.

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