New things

I really want to start this thing where I learn something new every summer, so I don't feel like a completely useless/talentless person. Last summer I taught myself to ride a bike, and this summer I was really planning on teaching myself to roller blade, but all the holidays are leaving me with no time at all. I'm not saying I didn't like the US trip or that I don't like staying in SG, just that there's kind of a downside to everything. Well now I really want to learn to skateboard instead of roller blade, I guess I could learn to roller blade next summer. The only problem is where am I going to get a skateboard in shanghai where I practically can't go out alone (this is actually the worst cause I like going out alone.) And I have to get it as soon as we get back so I get maximum time to teach myself, and still get time to do all the damn holiday homework which I haven't even started. TRULY HATE HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. The definition of holiday is: day(s) of festivity or recreation when no work is done seriously why can't people abide by the rules, there should be no such thing as holiday homework. Regular goddamn homework already makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

urgh longboards are bloody awesome, but I'm probably going to get an inexpensive regular skateboard just to get started. Hope mom doesn't flip shit when I bring one back, I mean fuck it, I'll wear knee and elbow pads ok.

Haven't had any conversations about feelings to anyone for a very long time, I don't even remember how long. Just I don't know how to start, and most of the time I'd rather try to help other people with their problems. Mostly I feel distant from everyone I know and I probably have big trust issues with all people, I don't know, sometimes it feels like I'm involuntarily combust if I don't talk about all the shit I feel. Usually I just choose to ignore it when I'm with people cause it's easier, but when I'm alone it eats at my insides, finding its way out, but there's no one to talk to so it just stays there.
I don't know what I'm saying so I should stop.