Beliefs

I don't really believe in anything that I can't see. I mean I don't have a religion, cause I don't really believe there's a god or anything like that. I don't really believe there are things after death, I think ghosts are just things from movies and stories, I think when you die, you're dead and that's the end of it. I think I don't really have faith in anything either, I'm rather pessimistic...
Really I think it started with my mom, she doesn't have a religion either, but she is kind of on the fence about everything. She doesn't believe in anything, not completely, but she isn't convinced they don't exist. There's nothing solid about what she thinks. I mean I was never really around an environment where people really believed in things that weren't tactile and try to make me believe too. My mom always places doubts in my mind about people, about things, she kind of takes the fun out of everything by being overly realistic or just pushing dumb 'facts' she thinks are true. I loathe it.

I think it's kind of better to have things to believe in cause you have something to fall on, something to hope for. I really have nothing to turn to, no person, no higher power, but I can't just "join a religion" because I don't want to trick myself into believing things I really don't trust. I don't really know why I'm saying all these things, just a lot of people I know have religions and I'm the only one who just has nothing to believe in.