Belonging

For quite a while I have been trying to come to a conclusion to where I belong, and always coming up empty. Well it used to be that I just didn't feel I belonged with my friends, but no the whole act of being displaced as amplified the feeling of not belonging.

I don't feel like I belong where I came from, because every time I go back I notice things aren't the same and I feel that gradually I'm going to lose touch with it all. I don't belong where I am right now either because I was just placed here, 14 years after I was born, so I'm never really going to fit into this either. Sometimes this makes me feel extremely lost, but it's one of those things I always shove to the back of my mind all the time, and it only ever resurfaces when I am alone. Being from a typically asian culture and dropped into this sort of pseudo-western culture adds on to the very feeling of being this stand-alone no matter where I go.

Well I can look at it and weep but why? I have enough things to cry about, sure it makes me feel anxious and lonely sometimes, but I just have to remind myself on how each placed has shaped me a little bit hither and tither. I can't really call anywhere home now can I? But I guess that's okay for now.