"I'm so tired"
"Of what?"
"Of everything."
"What's a young girl like you got to be tired about?"
That is my problem, people don't think depression is possible in young people. I just want to say depression is equally possible in the young and the old. Maybe a kid can't really tell if they're really depressed...I sure as hell didn't know that me wanting to kill myself and crying myself to sleep for most nights when I was 12 was a symptom of having suicidal depression, but that doesn't mean I wasn't depressed. People need to get over the fact the people no matter how young or old are capable of complex emotions. Children know failure and disappointment too.
The same is said for the elderly...I'm thinking about this tonight cause my aunt mentioned not buying anti depressants for my grandad and buying all his other medication because she didn't think he was a "psycho case". That just made me so angry..cause having depression doesn't mean you are insane, it's an illness all the same and there is goddamn medication for it. Why can pain everywhere be treated and considered normal but once your brain is the organ that is trouble you're considered not normal? Nevertheless I had to suppress my outburst on that topic cause I cannot let my family know about my shit cause they clearly think it suggests I am crazy...well at least the "adults" of the family do.
Sometimes coming home makes me as sad as being away from home. Nobody I want to see has time for me and I don't get to stay alone in a hotel room. There are so many unmentioned expectations and regulations that I am supposed to adhere to.
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