I only hope this place grows on me like the previous on did. I started with hating shanghai to missing it and all the people I met in it; I only hope it turns out the same here. It feels so different though, I feel so out of place, I guess I did when I first moved to shanghai as well. But then again the forced independence is leaving me reeling, its not that I lack the practical ability to take care of myself, I can cook, and budget and travel, its just the social aspect that has me in tatters and begins to effect everything around me including my ability to pay attention and study effectively. Its all very overwhelming, but so many others seem to be coping just fine and I wonder if its because I am, in some way, a broken individual.

I know I've done absolutely terribly for collections, aside from stats which went alright I guess. I only hope the further meetings regarding it don't involved someone going along the lines of 'what's wrong with you?' like my last bad academic meetings that triggered one of my worse anxiety attacks - it was especially bad to have almost a full day of school ahead of me as it happened, and a test as well, which I tanked. Thinking about those meetings now will only leave me feeling worse though, I guess I'll try to focus on crossing that bridge when I come to it.