Faded Fears

Faded fears are what I don't possess. I was never a child that was afraid of the dark or the monsters in my closet. I have, however, always been afraid of speaking, when it mattered, to the people who mattered. I am still afraid of failing and falling in every sense of those words; I am still afraid that if I start something I won't be good at it, and so I run away and remain afraid that if I run away I might be leaving something that I might be good at behind. I am still afraid of crying in public, I always fear it will make me look weak, it makes me feel weak. I am afraid of not finding something to live for. I am afraid of being this lonely forever. I am still afraid of showing myself, exposing the flaws I possess, both physically and mentally. I am afraid that I will not be able to love anyone; I am afraid that no one will love me. I am afraid I will never find a place where I am happy; I am afraid I cannot be a place where someone is happy. I am afraid I will never a be a person I can be proud of. I am still afraid of the things I cannot do.