Trench

I can't deal with talking to my parents about my university/career plans, firstly, because I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I constantly think about not having a life and secondly, because they are never actually listening to me or trying to learning anything from me. All they ever do is assume they know everything there is to know and they never give me an opportunity to point out their misconceptions, and when they ask me about my opinions they aren't listening to find out about what I want, they're fishing for words that they can latch their ideas to and pitch them to me. I can always see how much they're judging me whenever I don't respond to what they want me to do, I don't even bother speaking anymore, I can feel the building disappointment and I can see it in their faces every time I mention something outside of the two things they want me to do. I can't be in this house with them, I can't go out with them, I can't be in the car with them, I can't be anywhere with them without falling back into the darkness where I want to reach for the easy key.

They aren't bad people and they are trying, but I just don't feel like they're good for me.