I constantly think about The Exit

Even more so than before. I have evolved from a body of anger to one of resignation; I only hope this isn't as powerful as before, or I could succumb to the lure of the vast open dark nothingness, or maybe at least try to again...

adulthood

The only part of being treated like an adult I want is the part where no one tells me where I can and cannot go or how much time I spend in or out of the house. Other than that I don't want it, I don't want to think about money more than I already do, I don't want to plan for a future with a salary and taxes and housing, I don't want to think about being responsible for other people. I want none of that, but life doesn't come with bargains does it?

School

I don't even understand who plans this shit. Who goes "well we're going to put you through the toughest pre-uni course! It's okay if you don't know what they want to do with their lives yet, we will leave them absolutely no time to think about that. Lets make them do 6 subjects, it's going to appear flexible but actually we're just trying to get them to work in 6 different categories even if they are terrible at some. Let's throw in a 4000 word essay that they're required to pass, lets also make up a whole new subject to make them think about thinking because I don't think the kids are having enough existential crises. LETS TRY TO CATEGORISE THE EQUIVOCAL NATURE OF KNOWING YEAH THAT WILL REALLY RILE THEM UP. Oh you know what? We should also make them do university research, let's not forget that halfway through this tidal wave of work they will also have to fill out all their application forms that decide their eventual fate. Lets make sure they have at least one test a week. Lets do IAs on top of that pretty often too. Wait we can't forget to make them holistic individuals, lets introduce a need for consistent participation in a wide range of after school activities. I'm sure they'll have time to just be teenagers and have fun with that, if they don't then it's really THEIR FAULT. They should learn how to handle this. Lets make it normal for everyone in the course to have anxiety or panic attacks every couple of weeks, it's no big deal, they can handle it! Yeah and they can't really be absent on any day without receiving certified medical leave from doctors (that are really fucking expensive here), forget taking days off because you don't have to strength to get out of bed and you want to drown yourself in the bathtub, get your ass to school! Oh and this is just the expectation, if they really want to succeed, if they want to get into universities and have a future in our flawed society, they have to excel in all those things and they have to participate in more activities and they can't sure as hell need have no inclination of having a limit. THEY HAVE TO BE TECHNICALLY EXPERIENCED TOO, but they should find a time and way to do that on their own, we've helped them enough. We're sure everyone is just going to be tip-top we'll have the most knowledgeable students yet, well they may or may not emotionally worn out and mentally unstable, but you know what, that's just the cost of succeeding in our society!

The A levels don't sound any better either, like how flawed does a school system have to be that so many students choose to skip school to STUDY for their exams? What more do people need to see before they go "Hey something's not right here, maybe we shouldn't keep making kids go through this."